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Russian separatists in Ukraine riot over an offensive YouTube video showing the toppling of Lenin statues. Obama uses pen and phone to cancel Putin's Netflix account. Jackson's Rainbow Coalition to Crimea. Obama, we're just calling to ask if you want our foreign policy back. The s are right here with us, and they're wondering, too. Efforts to achieve moisture justice for California thwarted by unfair redistribution of snow in America.
Feminist author slams gay marriage: Beverly Hills campaign heats up between Henry Waxman and Marianne Williamson over the widening income gap between millionaires and billionaires in their district. Kim becomes world leader, feeds uncle to dogs; Obama eats dogs, becomes world leader, America cries uncle. North Korean leader executes own uncle for talking about Obamacare at family Christmas party. White House hires part-time schizophrenic Mandela sign interpreter to help sell Obamacare. Kim Jong Un executes own " crazy uncle " to keep him from ruining another family Christmas.
OFA admits its advice for area activists to give Obamacare Talk at shooting ranges was a bad idea. President resolves Obamacare debacle with executive order declaring all Americans equally healthy. Bovine community outraged by flatulence coming from Washington DC. Obama had no knowledge he'd been reelected until he read about it in the local newspaper last week. Server problems at HealthCare. If you were able to complete ObamaCare form online, it wasn't a legitimate gov't website; you should report online fraud and change all your passwords.
Obama authorizes the use of Vice President Joe Biden's double-barrel shotgun to fire a couple of blasts at Syria. FISA court rubberstamps statement denying its portrayal as government's rubber stamp. IRS actions against tea parties caused by anti-tax YouTube video that was insulting to their faith. Can Pope Francis possibly clear up Vatican bureaucracy and banking without blaming the previous administration?
Michelle Obama praises weekend rampage by Chicago teens as good way to burn calories and stay healthy. This Passover, Obama urges his subjects to paint lamb's blood above doors in order to avoid the Sequester. White House to American children: Sequester causes layoffs among hens that lay Easter eggs; union-wage Easter Bunnies to be replaced by Mexican Chupacabras. Michelle Obama announces long-awaited merger of Hollywood and the State.
Joe Salazar defends the right of women to be raped in gun-free environment: Kremlin puts out warning not to photoshop Putin riding meteor unless bare-chested. Japan offers to extend nuclear umbrella to cover U. Feminists organize one billion women to protest male oppression with one billion lap dances.
Concerned with mounting death toll, Taliban offers to send peacekeeping advisers to Chicago. Answering public skepticism, President Obama authorizes unlimited drone attacks on all skeet targets throughout the country. Skeet Ulrich denies claims he had been shot by President but considers changing his name to 'Traps'.
White House releases new exciting photos of Obama standing, sitting, looking thoughtful, and even breathing in and out. To prove he is serious, Obama eliminates armed guard protection for President, Vice-President, and their families; establishes Gun-Free Zones around them instead.
President issues executive orders banning cliffs, ceilings, obstructions, statistics, and other notions that prevent us from moving forwards and upward. Fearing the worst, Obama Administration outlaws the fan to prevent it from being hit by certain objects. Meek inherit Earth, can't afford estate taxes. Bigfoot found in Ohio, mysteriously not voting for Obama. As Santa's workshop files for bankruptcy, Fed offers bailout in exchange for control of 'naughty and nice' list.
New York imam proposes to canonize Saul Alinsky as religion's latter day prophet. Imam Rauf's peaceful solution: Obama attends church service, worships self. It's a shame that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of polar bears. Obama calls new taxes 'spending reductions in tax code. Obama's teleprompter unhappy with White House Twitter: Obama's Regulation Reduction committee finds US Constitution to be expensive outdated framework inefficiently regulating federal gov't.
Responding to Oslo shootings, Obama declares Christianity "Religion of Peace," praises "moderate Christians," promises to send one into space. Conservative think tank introduces children to capitalism with pop-up picture book "The Road to Smurfdom". Al Gore proposes to combat Global Warming by extracting silver linings from clouds in Earth's atmosphere.
Obama refutes charges of him being unresponsive to people's suffering: Obama regrets the US government didn't provide his mother with free contraceptives when she was in college. Obama congratulates Putin on Chicago-style election outcome.
People's Cube gives itself Hero of Socialist Labor medal in recognition of continued expert advice provided to the Obama Administration helping to shape its foreign and domestic policies. Enraged by accusation that they are doing Obama's bidding, media leaders demand instructions from White House on how to respond. Obama blames previous Olympics for failure to win at this Olympics. Jesus saves, I just spend. Anarchists plan, schedule, synchronize, and execute a coordinated campaign against all of the above.
Pakistan explodes in protest over new Adobe Acrobat update; 17 local acrobats killed. Re-educate your friends, family, and co-workers! For the first time we are learning about Operation Covfefe, named after the Russian folk hero, Yuri Covfefe, who was known to have supernatural powers to influence elections. Poor Me is a magazine dedicated to people who see themselves as victims. Read the new Trump-Comey edition - their thickest issue to date.
Challenges of being a drama queen in the age of Trump. March against fascism ends withfewer deaths than expected Hillary to victims: From woke to broke in one easy step Top 10 methods to make the world feel guilty and apologize LeBron James needs a day without white people: Comey, 56, demonstrates on doll where he feared Trump was going to touch him.
In a dramatic stroke of brilliance and keen journalistic instinct, or perhaps outright laziness, we decided to start from the back. Here's what we found. Hospital stays exceeding two days require patient-provided bedpans and light bulbs. Co-pays are now tracked by as a Wall Street investment index. Half off Abortion-Tuesdays at Family Dollar stores everywhere. School lunch programs shall include Soylent Green Fridays.
As a member of the white male hetero Christian class my peoples have been ruling the world far to long. It is only fitting that I and my ilk get a taste of our own medicine and accept our demotion in exchange for the promotion of the victim class.
The only thing my peoples can do to alleviate our deserved pains is to sacrifice our place willingly and eagerly. We shall vocally praise the oppressed, admit our sins and accept our lashings. When we are ordered to leave our campuses because of our whiteness we shall do so with a smile. When we are reminded of our privilege we shall accept it with a tear.
Equality before the law is not the goal. Lady Justice is not blind, comrade. Her eyes are open and her scales are now tipped accordingly. That is the "Democratic Ideal" for which we now must live. Just some pictures and headlines: An academic study from researchers at Brunel University London assessed men, looking at their height, weight, overall physical strength and bicep circumference, along with their views on redistribution of wealth and income inequality.
Back when I lived in New York I went shopping for a modern-looking microfiber jacket suitable for cool weather. I visited a dozen boutique stores in Manhattan, trying on a variety of nice-looking jackets. None of them fit me in the chest. Even if I was able to zip them up over my chest, I couldn't move my arms The 6 foot-long fossil reveals that the extinct early man of England possessed two large working testicles, which shatters all modern theories about the origins of today's residents of the British Isles.
The world's best known dealmaker-turned-president showed that when it comes to real estate, nobody out-negotiates the Trumpster. The president met briefly with Pope Francis, whom Trump described as a "…very, very nice man. Very hospitable," before agreeing on a price for the Vatican. Subjects discussed by the two leaders included the environment, world peace, religious tolerance, and property values. He made an offer, but you know how deals are, he started low and I started high," Trump told the accredited media shortly afterwards.
Do you hate Donald Trump? Is your lifelong dream to destroy his presidency? Do you live for nothing else these days? Are you looking for a flexible job that requires little effort while allowing you to be as outrageous as you want? Do you enjoy throwing stuff at the wall and watching it slide down to the floor leaving a trail of slime? Harvard University has written a new dress code that defines ties, a traditional male dress accessory, as a symbol of oppression, chauvinism, and hate speech.
Komrades, I made this little vid where Ragnar Lothbrok gets a glimpse of his people's nightmarish future that is 21st century Sweden. It has no major spoilers from the show "Vikings". For thousands of years, since the end of the Ice Age, international workers gathered in their caves on May Day to organize, protest, and represent. They sat around bonfires chanting Party-approved slogans and denouncing U. Every year the changing Current Truth called for different slogans, which were promptly provided to the masses by this glorious Party Organ.
And this year is no different. See the most current, updated, and expanded list of slogans for May Day A sad day today. I demand a Congressional investigation. Surely Trump has colluded with the Russians to hack our weather in order to make those of us on the side of Truth, Justice and The Socialist Way look bad.
Her search for other icons that she can threaten with her icy stare and bravado is taking her on a world-wide excursion. On April 22, and the battlecry of Earth Day resounding through the canyons of our metropoles, Science will march in the front row! MIT Press gcm forexten kazananlar out with a new book that teaches children the tenets of Karl Marx with fairy tales.
The little girl's armpit hair is especially disturbing. I understand it must be a nod to feminism, and far be it from me to dictate rules of body hygiene to any women and their consenting partners. The reason it's disturbing is because little girls don't have armpit hair.
So the book's authors either have never had children themselves and forgot their own childhood, or they are perverts who fantasize about a world where little girls have armpit hair or where adult women with armpit hair look, dress, and behave like little girls and break things they don't or won't understand.
In we told the world that "We only have ten years left to save the planet. Then during the election season our Holy Prophet Who Has Never Been Wrong, Al Gorski Muslim name: So, inprophet al-goreeza issued another fatwa You may be like many Americans, and just not sure what you should be outraged about and which side to pick. But wait no longer! When to feel triggered!
This way, they keep costs low for the little people, while kicking the teeth in of uppity, fancy doctors. Not Found Retailers did not consider the fact that the vast majority of liberal women don't enjoy smelling pleasant, so any move related to perfume busy signal money haffi mek mp3 would go unnoticed by this demographic Every year on April First, internationally known as The Current Truth Day, all progressive humanity celebrates the People's Cube's glorious anniversary.
Twelve years ago today, on April 1,this Party Organ was launched out of an undisclosed bunker and swiftly rose over the horizon like the red hexahedron-shaped sun of the revolution, bringing the light of Party-approved thought straight out of enforex summer camp spain Motherland to the toiling masses of the darkened, non-socialist parts of planet Earth.
San Francisco, CA -- 81 year old Cynthia Cunningham was hospitalized during the early morning hours today after she was found barely conscious in Target department store women's restroom. The elderly woman fell into a toilet becoming lodged in the public commode when the seat that Cunningham attempted to use was left up. According to the victim's family, Cunningham went missing last night after she went into town to buy her grandson a birthday card and a video game.
The frail customer with poor eyesight and a weak bladder was recorded on security cameras rushing into the restroom a half-hour before the store closed only to not emerge until EMTs carried her out To play, keep the card by your computer as you read the news and social media reaction to the attack.
When you see something in the news or on social media that matches something on the card, check it off! Welcome to the People's Cube clearing house for all the latest, scandalous, fascist, and Russian outrages of the Trump administration. What is the latest, breathless, gotta-tell-it-now scandal that defies credulity?
Can you believe he's actually being considered for the Supreme Court? Yeah, that's not racist sarcasm! Because the Orthodox Church's calendar is two weeks behind the Western calendar, the celebration is being scheduled on March 30th, almost two weeks after the drinking has wrapped up in the rest of the world.
This means that Russia's million-strong population will be carousing on the 17th when everyone else does it, and then on the 30th I know it is hard to imagine living a day without being reminded of the sensitivities and abuses faced by our perpetually aggrieved brethren but I am in desperate need of "A Day Without Guilt.
Please help me complete our day schedule. Dear oppressed women and non-women who identify as females! On this wonderful spring holiday the Party takes a day off from the usual revolutionary struggle in order to celebrate all the international contributions to social justice made by self-identified female-gendered persons and wishes for them to crush their oppressors anywhere they can find them - and get even!
We will never have a truly equal society until we can eliminate Penis Envy by eliminating the penis. The prevailing media messaging of the time was captured in these war propaganda posters. Things have changed in the last hundred years, and so has the media messaging. This raises some questions: Who comes up with this new companies listed on the stock exchange in zimbabwe Who is the target?
What is it aimed to accomplish? And can a nation survive this mindset if it prevails? Could any nation survive it? Because while the messaging has changed, the world hasn't If today's New York Times editors had been in charge in strumming harp music A likely illegal publication of a private German telegram to culturally diverse Hispanic and Oriental leaders causes rage, Teutophobia among white alt-right U.
The telegram, which legal experts caution may be illegal for citizens to read An unnamed teacher in Massachusetts, believing that her students were as shocked by Trump's election as she was, posted these equality-enforcement proclamations on the classroom wall.
It must be very reassuring for "Latino a " cattle futures market news to see a daily reminder that they are not rapists or drug dealers. The same goes for Muslim students who supposedly need to be reminded that they are not terrorists in case they forget.
Black students are probably expected to feel grateful for being sheltered from certain death that lurks outside; paranoia is always good for morale. It is the dawn of the Trump era. The deep state, also known as "a state within a state" is in danger of being drained. In Washington, DC, an elite group of career government bureaucrats bands together to issue the binary options tips and tricks of a lifetime.
The sabotage of Trump and his troops serves as what happens to call options in a buyout backdrop for the gripping story about self-serving pen pushers who put the entire country's future on the line to defend their swamp, trough, and the deep state from Trump's swamp-draining forces. Despite inconclusive evidence and ignoring the possible ramifications, the deep state orders the attack Each February, film fans around the world turn their attention to the Academy Awards called "The Oscars.
We've saturated ourselves with popcorn while watching entertaining "snowflake" routines since Election Day, and it only gets better. We've got free entertainment! We've watched more liberal meltdowns on YouTube than movies. We get excited and well… forget the cinema! I'm staying home to watch the liberals! Comrade Psychiatrist is unhappy with Mr. And while the Soviet Union has gone the way of the dodo, its glorious socialist legacy is still up for the picking. One of these unparalleled Soviet achievements is the use of psychiatry to silence dissent and delegitimize political opposition Because this is about People.
People who are fighting fascism. People who want only to take back the democracy that last November 8th was ripped from us as if we were raped—which, in a sense, we were. Is it just me, or do you also wonder how liberals can possibly function, let alone win elections? This lump in their heads, they refer to it as a mind, is made of absurdities, inconsistencies and contradictions. How is possible to hold so many mutually exclusive beliefs?
Scientists have discovered that both love and hate originate in the same nervous circuits in the brain. They are, in fact, secret and subversive codes of hatred, used by a world-wide conspiracy of fascists, known as the The Utility Workers' Army, whose hidden agenda is Orange Supremacy. Thanks to the eagle eye of Sarah Silverman, the secret signs of the Trump Nazi Illuminati have been exposed.
Orange is the new white. But it also offers an opportunity to meet the authoritarian oppressor of your dreams, provided that the proper precautions are taken. Whether you are a young starry-eyed Utopian or have been around the eastern bloc for a while, everyone can benefit from these tips and guidelines for safe dictator-dating procedures. Nordstrom stores - among others - recently stopped carrying Ivanka Trump's wares.
They claim that this decision is not at all politically motivated, but strictly turn off call forwarding verizon blackberry bold result of lagging sales. Nordstrom forex trading over the counter their Ivanka Trump dump has nothing to do with a boycott campaign waged by a random marketing consultant, under the hashtag GrabYourWallet.
The timing that Ivanka's sales lagged around the same time her father became close to winning the election, which is also when the boycott campaign ramped up, but not a moment before, is purely coincidental. Armed with a baseball bat and wearing a fashionable rioting unisex ensemble, Flat Antifa is looking for some fascism to smash.
Fascism is anything that Flat Antifa doesn't understand. It needs to be smashed. Fascists are those who refuse to conform to Flat Antifa's non-conformism. Unshoed Forex mercato libero interlay his ile sweep trading etrade training blesses gnostically.
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